Archive for the ‘Family’ Category

Running Streak

For the next few weeks this will be me everyday.

I decided to participate in the Runners World Summer Streak 2012. I failed a little and started two days late. But I like to think it’s better late than never right? Basically I will be running at least a mile every day until the 4th of July. You can do more than a mile but have to do at least one mile. I’m training for a 10K and have a few 5ks lined up so I think it will be a good for me to just get out there and run every day. I’m on day 6 today. Here goes nothing.

Running has been such a good thing for me the past few months because it provides me some alone time with my thoughts. It’s also let me zone out and just listen to music which I’ve needed. It’s provided me an outlet that I didn’t think existed. I like to keep this blog light hearted  but sometimes life just gets in the way.

Sunday marked 3 months – 3 whole months. For those who have been reader’s since the beginning of this blog you know the past few months have been tough for me after the unexpected death of my dad. I still don’t think I’ve come to terms with the finality of it at all. There are still days I expect to see a missed call or voice mail from him asking why I haven’t called him in a few days. Some days are definitely easier than others but its never left my mind in these three months.

Every day my mind is plagued with what ifs, happy memories, sad memories and everything in between. I find myself thinking about this reality of not seeing him again and all the things he’ll never get to experience. He’ll never get to walk me down the isle, meet future grandchildren, or ever see his favorite team play. I’ll never get to get him his sports themed gifts again and his fishing poles will sit in the garage untouched for who knows how long. I suppose these thoughts are normal and a part of the healing process but let me tell you they suck.

I can’t believe it’s already been 3 months – 90 (give or take) days. That seems like so long ago but I still remember it like yesterday. Many people have told me the pain never goes away and you just kind of learn to live with that pain and try to move on. I didn’t believe them at first but I see truth in their words. I take each day as it comes and if I need to cry I cry. If I need to laugh I laugh. I’m being selfish with my time and energy and who I choose and where I choose to spend it. I’m not wasting time anymore. Life is what you make it and I intend to make each day important in its own way.

On Sunday – 3 month since he passed I ran a 5k faster than I had previously and never walked. It was tough and something I didn’t think I could do months ago. I like to think he was looking over me cheering me on. I’ll have a re-cap tomorrow.


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